The Committee and the Camel

Image taken from: Design Something

One of my favourite sayings is "A camel is a horse designed by committee".
Don't ask me who said it, I don't know.
I have nothing against camels either but clearly the brief was to design a horse.
Anyway my point is, too many people get camels when they want horses.

I am not making any sense to you am I?
Stay with me here.

There are many saying, proverbs, wise tales, etc. about too many people having input into situations.
For example:

"You cant please all the people all the time"
"Too many cooks spoil the broth"

... I can't think of any more. Shut up. I'm tired.

They have been passed on throughout time for a reason. Because they're true.
Whether it is at home or at work there's always a situation where a group of individuals want to have a say or influence what you're doing.
"There is no 'I' in team", is the common throw away phase they will use to coerce you into considering their input.

There are easy ways to overcome these attempts depending on who the person is and their approach.

Here are some responses for those who attempt to force their opinion or help onto you when it is not necessarily needed:

• For the Overly Aggressive Outsider:
  "Thank you. I will put that in a letter and post it to Santa".
• For the Overly Aggressive Colleague:
  "Thank you. I find your input fascinating and marvel at your ability to form words."
• For the Overly Aggressive Boss/Mother/Father:
  "Sure I can do that."
• For the Passive Aggressive Outsider:
  "Thank you, your opinion has been dually noted".
• For the Passive Aggressive Colleague:
  "Thank you. Could you please clarify what you were trying to achieve by making that statement and how it will benefit the group."
  
• For the Passive Aggressive Boss/Mother/Father:
  "Sure I can do that."

• For the Nay-Sayer:
  "You're right, it probably can't be done... if you were doing it.".
• For the You-know-this-was-really-my-idea-all-along-er:
  "Gee you come up with some great ideas. Tell me again why this hasn't happened yet?."
  

• For the Think-outside-the-box-er:
  "Cram it inside your box"

• For the Shouldn't-you-involve-these-people-er:
  "Do they watch you pee?"

• For the Shouldn't-you-do-it-this-way-er:
  "I probably should. You better go call an ambulance."

I am sure you all have said one of the above at some point.
Because lets face it. Sometimes, when you wanna get shit done, you just have to do it yourself.