Eat a cup of dirt before you die

As a child I was told by my Father that "Everyone should eat a cup of dirt before they die". This seemed counter intuitive as a child I assumed that if you ate a cup of dirt, you would die. He also believed DEB (a brand of powdered potato) was a solid staple for any child's diet, another potential colon blocking death risk. 

My Mother was a clean freak and would shriek at the sight of a child with a mouth full of filth (something I was exceptionally good at). She still won't let anyone put handbags on any of her household surfaces because of potential germ transfer. Its the floor or your shoulder, no bench, table or side.

The conflicting views of my Eat-a-cup-of-dirt-Father and my Ten-second-rule-does-not-count-Mother has resulted in a personality disorder which leaves me either petrified of germs or blasé about dirt depending on how much alcohol I have consumed. (Come on, we have all done the 3am burger on the car floor meal). 

So I decided to do some research of my own. What dirt can you eat and how much? Are their any health benefits? Does my insurance cover digestion of compost?

According to Wiki Answers there are more bacteria in a handful of soil than there are humans on the planet, which is pretty scary. If you suffer from Geophagy (dirt-eating) you would probably find that fact appetising. They can eat tons of the stuff and still seem to breathe, walk and talk like the rest of us.

An article about the hazards and benefits of eating dirt on a Kids Health website doesn't paint a good picture but does state that a small amount of dirt can be safely eaten. I suspect it probably adds up to about a cup full in a person's lifetime.

However it is not the bacteria that sends my clean freak brain into a spiral it is the larger gag inducing items I fear. I have been brainwashed enough by advertising agencies not to fear bacteria. Now when I think of bacteria I think of health yogurts and special gut balancing tablets.  I don't fear "germs" too much either. Every time I get some gastro related illness I tend to drop a couple of kilos (pardon the pun).

What concerns me more are bugs, fecal particles, hair (both human and animal) and sand.

Find a cockroach leg in your cereal? Instant sicky.
Eaten a salad when the lettuce has not been washed off properly? Remember the crunch of the sand granules? Kinda puts you off your food.
Gagging on a hair? That's one way to end a dinner party.

My sister covers her glass if someone farts anywhere near her (again animal or human, it doesn't matter). It totally makes sense to me. I can't brush my teeth in the same room as a toilet without wanting to gag.

Sound familiar?
So what do we all do to counteract this fear? We clean like crazy! We wash, bleach, wipe, vacuum, disinfect and bleach again!

I found an article on WebMD which exposes some surprising places where dirt thrives and most of them are the places we bleach, clean, clean, bleach, clean, bleach and clean again on a regular basis.

These places include:

• the kitchen sink,
• your toothbrush,
• the salt and pepper shaker,
• the TV remote
• your computer keyboard, and
• your bath.

Upon completing my research I have come to the conclusion that there is really no point to stressing about germs. I am going to have to face the facts and start serving mulch in my salad. The germs are everywhere and there is no escaping them. So I may as well eat a cup of dirt and get it over with... or maybe that is the wine talking.